Sweet 36

Yes yes yes... I was born 36 years ago on the 27th July 1983 in the evening in Kuala Lumpur.

What 36 has to offer? I don't really know but I count my blessings everyday for whatever and whoever I have with me now. I am grateful to have parent's that always love and care (though sometimes can be overly garang) with me and my sister, I am thankful for the food they put on the table, roof (house, even better) for me to stay and always cook my favorite food and always took me ate sate whenever I am feeling it.

BUT.... somehow I think I have wasted 6-7 years of my life worrying about other people, got into a toxic relationship, have a lady boss who was always crazy jealous of me for no reason and yeah...... again I stress here, A VERY TOXIC RELATIONSHIP.

However I am so thankful that I decided to move on with my life after I gotten out of the relationship, 5 years long of toxic relationship. I am so.... sabar I tell you. It is hard for me to move on after what have happened, tapi dengan izin Allah swt, alhamdulillah I am fine sehingga hari ini. No more rasa sayang, no more love, no more rindu walaupun masa dalam hubungan, si dia ada 5-6 orang perempuan dalam masa yang sama.

So... since I dah habiskan masa yang tak boleh dapat balik tu, I cuba lah untuk manfaatkan masa yang I ada sekarang dengan keluarga dan diri sendiri. Lagi satu, pengajaran I belajar dalam masa 5 tahun dalam perhubungan yang toxic tu lagi membuatkan I kuat. Kita perempuan bila sayang, memang sayang habis kan? Tapi setiap perempuan Allah kurniakan intuisi or intuition... maka percaya lah intuisi korang tu betul. Do not doubt a bit bila intuisi tu datang, sebab dia lah guide yang kita ada bila datang soal hati.

Ok Ok... bila umur dah 36 ni, I banyak muhasabah diri. Dad macam suruh cari calon. "Banyakkan baca surah sekian sekian" dia kata", and my reply was...."Ikin taknak lah, takut. Dah fobia. Takut dapat lelaki tak guna". See, you guys pun boleh dapat agak lah how fobia I am bila org cakap soal jodoh. Mana ada orang yang taknak kahwin kan. Tapi............... to be honest, it is not my time yet.

So... 36 dan keatas ni I nak fokus to myself. Kerja, cari happiness for myself before orang lain. Live life the way it should be. TO THE FULLEST! ....thought nak diving balik, running and etc. Ok, jadi korang....doakan lah I ni dapat apa yang I cita2 kan. I doakan yang sama untuk semua yang baca my rant ni. Hehe.💗

Yours truly,
Ashkn.